I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
