barbara walters just said penis...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
