any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
How's work?
Spinning.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
