I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize