You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
