In the future we'll all be gay
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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