the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they're like a gay fantastic four
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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