help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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