I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
