What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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