it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
