i will never coherently bang her
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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