morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.