I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Quick, to the slutcave!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
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if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...