Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
