At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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