dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
