I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Randomize