no, he came in my armpit
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
