so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
