dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
