Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
