you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
