I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
nutella sex= disaster
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
