This house was built for laser tag.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
