I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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