apparently the secret to your success is patron
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize