Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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