ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
