it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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