sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
