Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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