So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
