i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
