I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Drunk is not a location!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
