She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
