I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
