As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
