I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
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I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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