just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize