So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
