Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The best revenge is premature balding
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
