3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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