google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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