you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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