Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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