does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
