i think my mom watched the whole time
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
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Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
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I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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