Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
