Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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