Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
