Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
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Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
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I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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