You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
