doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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