What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
