i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
