He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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