her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
