What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
