Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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