..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
