maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
