So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
