Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
