I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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