guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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